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L.A. Kings Forward Dustin Penner Injures Himself While Eating Pancakes

  • Arun Morace

You read the title and you think, ‘wait really?’

And the answer is yes, really.

According to Rich Hammond of LA Kings Insider, Los Angeles enigma Dustin Penner was sitting down to eat some of his wife’s delicious pancakes when, suddenly and without notice, all hell broke loose:

 “I woke up fine, sat down to eat and it (Penner’s back) locked right up. It never happened to me before. I couldn’t stand up. I was probably at the third stage of evolution. So my wife helped me get dressed, and then I drove to the rink here, to hope they could do some magic and get it opened up. Kinger [trainer Chris Kingsley] just looked at me and said, ‘Go home.’ So I got some treatment and went home.”

“Apparently it’s one of those mysterious things, where you can throw it out (from) sneezing. I just leaned over to dip into some delicious pancakes that my wife made. It’s just like it [the pain] wraps around you and squeezes. … So it was disappointing. Hopefully it’s just an isolated incident, and not something that’s going to become chronic.”

It’s okay, I’m sure Aunt Jemima is one crazy bitch.

Penner has become sort of a laughing stock of the LA Kings, as he has under-performed all season after signing with the team to help them with their depth on the wing. Needless to say, the plan hasn’t work, and now it seems that the odds are stacked against him.

It’s okay, though. We have to forgive Penner for making such a rash decision because, well, who knew pancakes were so dangerous? We have a suggestion: switch to waffles. Perhaps they will prove to be a less daunting foe.

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Arun Morace

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7 Responses to L.A. Kings Forward Dustin Penner Injures Himself While Eating Pancakes

  • What a way to get out of eating the wife’s cooking. Faking an injury.

    But seriously, hope this gets better for him. That would suck not being able to stand. My father-in-law did it two years ago bending over to get shorts out of a drawer.

  • Pingback: Opening Bell: Weird injuries-LA find its new football team? | Postgame Presser
  • Frasier Crane did it “blowing out a cupcake”. I’m just sayin’… LOL

  • William Hurt in Accidental Tourist.

  • Felix Unger would be proud, “my back”!

  • I feel for him as i have had the condition since 1984 and I’ll tell you….you can’t straighten up….period….I know it’s a knuckle dragger but we live with it some days good, others terrible…..sounds like his is just a pinched nerve and will work itself out. I feel compensation setting in, or a trade coming.

  • Perhaps some fruit and 8 servings of raw vegetables per day!!!

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