L.A. Kings Forward Dustin Penner Injures Himself While Eating Pancakes
You read the title and you think, ‘wait really?’
And the answer is yes, really.
According to Rich Hammond of LA Kings Insider, Los Angeles enigma Dustin Penner was sitting down to eat some of his wife’s delicious pancakes when, suddenly and without notice, all hell broke loose:
“I woke up fine, sat down to eat and it (Penner’s back) locked right up. It never happened to me before. I couldn’t stand up. I was probably at the third stage of evolution. So my wife helped me get dressed, and then I drove to the rink here, to hope they could do some magic and get it opened up. Kinger [trainer Chris Kingsley] just looked at me and said, ‘Go home.’ So I got some treatment and went home.”
“Apparently it’s one of those mysterious things, where you can throw it out (from) sneezing. I just leaned over to dip into some delicious pancakes that my wife made. It’s just like it [the pain] wraps around you and squeezes. … So it was disappointing. Hopefully it’s just an isolated incident, and not something that’s going to become chronic.”
It’s okay, I’m sure Aunt Jemima is one crazy bitch.
Penner has become sort of a laughing stock of the LA Kings, as he has under-performed all season after signing with the team to help them with their depth on the wing. Needless to say, the plan hasn’t work, and now it seems that the odds are stacked against him.
It’s okay, though. We have to forgive Penner for making such a rash decision because, well, who knew pancakes were so dangerous? We have a suggestion: switch to waffles. Perhaps they will prove to be a less daunting foe.