#4: Manute Bol:
Position: Center, 7-7, 200 lbs
Drafted: Washington Bullets, 2nd Round (#31 overall)
Teams: Washington Bullets, Golden State Warriors, Philadelphia 76ers, Miami Heat.
Manute Bol always reminded me of a big ass clown on stilts. As a child, I was terrified of Manute Bol. He had that big huge, round face and the long, lanky body. He moved in such an odd way. I always thought he was just some very ugly clown on stilts, I couldn’t never grasp the concept that he was just a large awkward dude.
#3: Greg Oden:
College: Ohio State
Position: Center, 7-0, 250 lbs
Drafted: Portland Trailblazers, 1st Round (#1 overall)
Teams: Portland Trailblazers
Why does Greg Oden, at the age of 23, appear to be 70 years old? This is what Lebron James will look like in 40 years. Do I at least net a reward for finding the missing link or what? Greg Oden looks like the love-child of the Geico Caveman and Aretha Franklin.
#2: Sam Cassell:
College: Florida State
Position: Point Guard, 6-3, 185 lbs
Drafted: Houston Rockets, 1st Round (#24 overall)
Teams: Houston Rockets, Phoenix Suns, Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, Los Angeles Clippers, Boston Celtics.
Ok, so what do you get when you cross E.T., Gollum, Admiral Akbar and The Alien from Enemy Mine? Sam Cassell, but I’m sure you saw that coming. I went into this list believing that Sam I Am would be my guy sitting at the #1 spot. He sure has an ugly mug. He looks like basically every alien imaginable, with worse teeth. But he still can’t top the one player.
#1: Tyrone Hill:
Position: Power Forward, 6-9, 240 lbs
Drafted: Golden State Warriors, 1st Round (#11 overall)
Teams: Golden State Warriors, Cleveland Cavaliers, Milwaukee Bucks, Philadelphia 76ers, Miami Heat.
Tyrone hill looks like a mummy. I’ve never seen a living human being with a nose that starts and ends at the bridge. He looks like a Vampire Bat. Tyrone hill needs to climb back into his grave and stop scaring people. He looks like he’s dead, or like Willem Dafoe as a vampire. I mean, seriously, did he steal that nose from Michael Jackson’s tomb?