PHOTO: Each of Lincecum’s Mustache Hairs Has a Name
Tim Lincecum showed up for Giants’ photo day with a ridiculously thin mustache. We’ve all seen it in all of its creepy glory. Most of us would call the police if we saw anyone with that thing on their face talking to our children.
To make things even creepier, it appears that each of his creepy, wispy mustache hairs have been named. Grant Brisbee of McCovey Chronicles counted each and every hair in Lincecum’s mustache (there are apparently 108) and then created the masterpiece that you see below.
Which name is your favorite? Mine is ‘Lifebringer’, but ‘C & C Upper Lip Olfactory’ isn’t bad either. The plethora of hairs named ‘Bob’ is also pretty funny.
Now Timmy is only 30 years old, so he
still has time until he hits puberty and gains the ability to grow facial hair like a man.
Edit: I have been informed that male puberty ends at around age 18. It looks like ‘The Freak’ is screwed in the facial hair department.