Top 5 crazy culinary delights at MLB ballparks in 2014

  • David Whitlock

As if the indulgence of watching baseball for three hours (or four, if you’re a Yankees or Red Sox fan) isn’t enough gluttony for one evening, ballparks around the country are coming up with ridiculous, over-the-top, food selections.  And we’re not talking about “peanuts and Cracker Jack.”  We’re talking mounds and mounds of pure gastronomic bliss.  Here are the Top 5 items that if you can afford, there’s no way you’ll be able to finish!

(Calorie counts approximated by completely unscientific methods)

5. Bacon on a stick (Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park in Arlington, $7)

Mmmm Bacon – Homer Simpson

And it’s on a stick, so your hands don’t have to get all greasy.  And it’s a nice Texas thick cut, not one of those New England stringy strips.  ESPN’s Richard Durrett has the tweet.  Calorie count = 1000.

4. “Heavenly Nachos” (Los Angeles Angels, Angel Stadium, $16.50) Lots of things go in batting helmets.  Batters heads.  Five or six baseballs.  Tortilla chips, melted cheese, sour cream, jalapenos, and meat.  Sam W. from Yelp has the bleacher photo of the goods.  Calorie count = 2250.

heavenlynachos

Credit Yelp.com/Sam W.

3. “D-bat Dog,” 18-inch corn dog stuffed with cheese and bacon (Arizona Diamondbacks, Chase Field, $25) And since that won’t fill you up, they’ll throw in a side of fries.  Let me guess, you can add chili and cheese to those, too?  The State Fair of Texas may need to up its game when it comes to corny dogs!  ESPN’s Darren Rovell on the tweet.  Calorie count = 2766.

2. “Choomongous”, 2-foot Asian beef sandwich with spicy slaw, on a bun (Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park in Arlington, $26) Everything is bigger in Texas and the Rangers aren’t messing around.  Named for offseason acquisition Shin-Soo Choo from South Korea, the Choomongous is probably not something he would down in the clubhouse before the game.  ESPN’s Richard Durrett again on the tweet.  Calorie count = 3875.

1. 12 scoop, 3 pound banana split in a helmet (Chicago White Sox, U.S. Cellular Field, $17) Who wouldn’t want 12 scoops of ice cream?  Enough to feed an entire little league team, ESPN’s Darren Rovell has the tweet that shows this monstrosity.  Calorie count = if you have to count it, you can’t afford it.

– David Whitlock

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David Whitlock

David Whitlock - manager

David (a.k.a. Longhorndave or lhd_on_sports) joined the staff late in the 2012 season and moved to Site Manager in early 2013. A lifelong Houston Astros fan (and mini-season ticket holder for 9 years) he attends 20+ games per year. A statistics freak, David still keeps score the "old fashioned way" on occasion (and has kept manual score of World Series games since 1986 and retains the sheets). He was a featured guest weekly on the Phil Naessens Show. He is also a Texas Longhorns alumnus and huge football and baseball fan of his alma mater. When he isn't watching or writing about baseball, he works as a contractor at NASA Johnson Space Center. He lives by the mantra "a bad day at the ballpark is better than a good day anywhere else."

One Response to Top 5 crazy culinary delights at MLB ballparks in 2014

  • Your Angels nachos calorie estimate is pretty good from when I tried to ballpark it a while ago. I think that’s more than a fair guess.

    The boatload of chips is the biggest killer calorie wise. I’d say that’s a solid 2/3rds of a 13 oz bag of Tostitos rounds in those helmets. The sour cream and nacho cheese are the next biggest culprits of calories, not to mention saturated fat. If they would replace the refried beans with some regular cooked pinto beans that would help too, though not much.

    The helmet nachos are definitely to be shared, and even then, you still have to be willing to indulge in extra caloric intake for the day.

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