With the NFL season kicking off this week, I thought it was only appropriate to rank the Top 10 Hottest NFL Cheerleader Squads. You’ve already drafted all 6 of your fantasy teams. You know all the cuts and practice squad signings for every team in your division. Hell, you even know the dental workings of the your average NFL defensive lineman. But now it’s time to get prepared for the battle on the sidelines and answer the age-old question once and for all: which NFL team has the hottest cheerleaders? I’ve done extensive research for years over at Pro Cheerleader Heaven just so I could answer this question for you.
The Top 10 Hottest College Cheerleading Squads post was a big hit, so I know you’re going to like this one too. The main difference between the lists? WAAAAAAAY more cleavage in this list!
They may not be the first name you think of when compiling a list of the Top 10 Hottest NFL Cheerleader Squads, but I’d put the Vikings cheerleaders right up there against damn near another other NFL squad. Maybe it’s those cold winters that forge such hotties. Maybe it’s the Favre factor still paying dividends. They also get major bonus points for being the only team in their division to actually have cheerleaders (and I’m not counting the unofficial Detroit Pride cheerleaders)!
There are a lot of things going for the Houston Texans cheerleaders. They’ve got the tiny little shorts that highlight maybe the best asses in the NFL. They cheer for an up-and-coming franchise that could do some big things this year. But most of all, the Texans cheerleaders have: TWINS. Two sets of twins, to be exact. The Bud Light commercial may have played out the whole twins thing a few years ago, but the Houston Texans cheerleaders are trying to bring it back in a major way. And their cheerleaders hang with Kanye. Whatever.
As if living in New Orleans wasn’t reason enough to party, the New Orleans Saints have to throw the Saintsations into the mix to get everybody nice and worked up. I’m a bit of a Saints fan anyway, but when the Saints cheerleaders hit the field and start shaking their moneymakers I feel like I’ve loved the team since birth. Maybe it’s some sort of creepy voodoo hex they can project through the TV screen. Or maybe it’s just the boobs. Either way I’m hooked.
I’m a big fan of the Atlanta Falcons cheerleaders (as shown by their 18 appearances on Pro Cheerleader Heaven), but I can’t name just a single reason. Maybe it’s that they are so accessible on social media. Maybe it’s because they played to my Asian fetish with the lovely Cindy. Whatever it is, these girls truly live up the Hot-lanta name.
We have now entered the world of the NFL cheerleader heavyweights. Every squad from here on out is consistently rated amongst the Top 10 Hottest NFL Cheerleader Squads. And we start the usual suspects with southern Cali’s own San Diego Chargers cheerleaders. For me, the best move the Chargers cheerleaders ever made was the lace up tops. It truly enhances the cleavage in a way that other cheerleader outfits cannot. It was a bold move, but I embrace
them it, wholeheartedly!
For my money, the New York Jets Flight Crew has the best team name in the NFL. It is clever without being corny. It also harkens back to the days of the smokin’ hot airplane stewardess that didn’t mind if you called her “Doll” and pinched her ass as she served the guy across the aisle his 3rd free Scotch. Those days may be gone, but the Jets Flight Crew is working hard on the ground to keep you interested in more than just how many incomplete passes Tim Tebow threw in practice today.
Miami really does have an unfair advantage when it comes to stocking its roster with the hottest cheerleaders available. Miami is just a sexy city full of sexy people. And a lot of those sexy people want to shake their asses for fans of a fledgling football team. Lauren Tannehill may be the hit of the Dolphins preseason right now, but once these Dolphin cheerleaders (and these shorts) hit the field, that conversation will shift in a hurry.
For a lot of people, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are still at the top of NFL cheerleader dogpile (yeah, picture that for a minute!). They are the most well-known squad, and they get recognized all over the world. Mostly for the shorts, but also for the fact that they were smokin’ hot when a lot of these other squads were just getting started. But once Jerry Jones had them dancing in cages things got a little weird for me. Weird in an incredibly sexy way, but still weird.
They don’t call them the 1st Ladies of Football for nothing! The most lovely residents of our nation’s capitol know how to get even the most boring bureaucrat in town to take notice of the product on the field. RGIII may get them in the building this season, but it’s going to be the Redskins cheerleaders that keep them in their seats through even the worst pounding the NFC East can throw at them.
The hottest cheerleader squad in the NFL resides in Tampa, Florida. The Buccaneers cheerleaders have been my favorite professional cheer squad for a few years now. And it’s not just the cleavage. Really, I promise. They have some great backsides too. It’s a full package kind of thing. Plus, cheering down in Florida makes for some steamy games and that makes for some sweaty cheerleaders. I don’t think I really need to explain to you why this is such a great thing.
So that’s my list. Agree? Disagree? Think I’m a complete moron because I left off the New England Patriots cheerleaders or the San Francisco 49ers cheerleaders? I’m open to suggestions, but you better bring some photographic proof!