Top 10 Worst NHL Teeth

1. Dany Heatley — Even Jeremy Roenick has taken time to point out Heatley’s bad smile. At the 2003 All-Star game Roenick, in awe of Heatley’s performance during the game, said, ”The good thing is that you’re gonna win that truck. The bad thing is you’re gonna be smiling all day on TV and I don’t really think that’s that pretty.”

 

2. Duncan Keith — Proof that nothing comes easy in hockey, Keith lost seven teeth during the second period of Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals in 2003 thanks to a Patrick Marleau shot. More importantly, Keith returned later in the game after doctors froze his mouth to help the Blackhawks secure the win and the series.

 

3. Sean Couturier — Eerily reminiscent of a young Bobby Clarke with both his two front teeth missing, Sean Couturier has been hearing about the gap since his junior days. “He’s missing his two front teeth and he looks pretty funny without them,” said then teammate Zack Kassian to the London Free Press, during the 2011 World Junior Championships. Not many people are talking about his teeth these days though after a very impressive two-way performance in his rookie season.

 

4. Alexander Ovechkin — Ovechkin may be a poster boy for the NHL but his smile sure leaves something to be desired. Despite his enormous salary, Ovie seems content to avoid the dentist to repair the missing chomper. The tooth in question was extracted during a 2007 game against the Atlanta Thrashers. After the game Ovechkin told the Washington Post, “It makes me look hot. Girls like it.” While I’m not sure that’s true, when you’re one of the top players in the NHL, it doesn’t matter how many teeth you have.

5. Chris Neil — A face only a mother could love. Neil, an 11-year NHL veteran, has seen his share of crowded corners, flying fists and enormous elbows and his face shows the effects. But Neil knows his job isn’t about being flashy and there’s a reason he’s still a prominent player for the Ottawa Senators despite never posting more than 16 goals or 33 points in the NHL.

 

6. Paul Stastny — The young Avalanche sniper is known more for his soft hands than his missing teeth but when the youngster does get on the score sheet expect to see a huge toothless grin. What’s even more odd is that Stastny didn’t lose his teeth playing hockey. “I lost them back when I was in seventh grade. We were playing baseball at school… Me and my buddy were standing behind this guy… and he swung as hard as he could. The bat came loose out of his fingers and the full barrel of the bat hit me in the face,” Stastny told Colorado Avalanche Mailbag.

7. Matt Cooke — For 13 seasons Matt Cooke has been getting in the face of anyone and everyone. He hasn’t made too many friends among his competitors either. It’s no wonder then that Cooke has lost so many of his teeth, leaving his mouth looking like that of the undead. And somehow, despite the missing chiclets, Aaron Asham even accused Cooke of biting his hand during a game last January. Cooke, of course, avoided a suspension despite the allegations

8. Claude Giroux — With his face all over the cover of NHL 13, Giroux’s missing tooth has come front and centre. “One time I got a crosscheck to the face and I lost a bunch of teeth. Mostly I’ve been lucky, though. At the end of the day, you know if you play the game you’re going to get hurt eventually—you just have to battle through it. That’s the way hockey players are made,” said Giroux to Men’s Health. Truer words have never been spoken.

 

9. Zack Stortini — Yet another guy with “two front teeth” on his Christmas wish list, Stortini, at 6’3″, 216 lbs, knows his smile isn’t getting any better any time soon. With more than 90 fights in 5 seasons, Stortini’s dental repairs will wait till sometime after his NHL career, although that could come sooner rather than later as the NHL sees the enforcer role diminish more each year. ”I’m more than a fighter. I’m responsible defensively and I can contribute some points,” said in an interview with the Montreal Gazette.

10. Daniel Carcillo — While his gap-filled smile isn’t the first thing you notice about Carcillo – it’s probably his greasy mustache – it’s one thing you can’t forget. The gap, a result of a Brendan Mikkelson high stick in 2009, reminds everyone that Carcillo, aka. Car bomb, will not back down from anything despite standing just 5’11″. His 324 PIMs in 2007-08 as a member of the Phoenix Coyotes are proof of that.

By Josh Saggau





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